American woman reveals she fell in love with Afghan refugee

KABUL Reuters – Frustrated by strict social rules, young and educated Afghans are quickly learning that taboos can be sidestepped at the tap of a mobile phone. In deeply conservative, Muslim Afghanistan, social media is opening a new route for men and women to communicate in private. Some even find love in a country where most marriages are arranged and strict rules make it tough – and dangerous – for men and women to interact even in the most liberal circles. A recent explosion in Internet use has opened a new frontier, and many are using tools such as instant messaging to approach each other and set up dates. Social media websites such as Facebook offer a rare opportunity for couples to learn about each other before marriage, he said. But there are problems.

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You are a girl who looks like the world,” a friend once told me. I knew what she meant: My caramel-colored skin and curly hair, the product of a ’70s-era marriage between a white Midwestern woman and a black Southern man, marked me as the living embodiment of the triumph of love at the time. I was raised to be open-minded and curious. And my biracial heritage gave me a vantage point to see the world from different perspectives.

The Tricksters of Afghanistan’s New Online-Dating Scene As she soon learned, many young Afghan men and women from cities and villages.

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I am meeting someone for the first time and I want to make a good impression. What would be good discussion topics? The best topic to discuss is asking Afghans about their lives, taking care to not raise any expectations unnecessarily. As the economic situation of the people is extremely bad, sometimes asking about how they do will be interpreted as you trying to offer some help.

It is safe to talk about their kids in general, but no personal questions should be asked, especially about female members of the family. A question about which province they come from is always helpful, especially if you know something about that part of the country and can share that with them eg: “it is a beautiful part of the country”, “I have seen pictures of it”, “I would like to go there some time” and so on.

Questions on marital status of the women should be avoided, especially in front of others, as this is considered rude. It is OK if you make some jokes, but of course it should not be targeting one person or one ethnic group in an humiliating way. I mention this because there are common jokes in Afghanistan with particular reference to some ethnic group, especially to minorities. Take care with your audience. For example, jokes that might offend women include ones which have any sexual topic or material in it.

First of all, Afghanistan is a complex country with different cultures depending on where in Afghanistan you are from.

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Under Afghan law, civil and religious marriage ceremonies may be performed for some foreigners. Afghans who are dual nationals are treated solely as Afghan under the law. It is not possible for a non-Muslim man to marry a Muslim woman in Afghanistan, but it is possible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim, foreign, woman. Additionally, the court will not register marriages involving Afghans who claim not to be Muslim, unless the couple consents to a Muslim religious ceremony.

Afghan law considers all Afghans Muslim by default. In the provinces, outside of Kabul, marriages can be registered at the civil courts.

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Religion has long played a paramount role in the daily life and social customs of Afghanistan. Even under the mujahideen leaders, Afghanistan appeared to be on a course of Islamization: the sale of alcohol was banned, and women were pressured to cover their heads in public and adopt traditional Muslim dress. But far more stringent practices were imposed as the Taliban enforced its Islamic code in areas under its control. These measures included banning television sets and most other forms of entertainment.

Men who failed to grow beards and leave them untrimmed were fined and jailed—full beardedness being perceived by extremists as the mark of a Muslim—and little mercy was shown to convicted criminals. These and other policies were not widely popular, and the Taliban was subject to reproach at home and abroad for its inability to build a national administrative structure.

But, in the absence of viable alternatives , most Afghans appeared to accept Taliban dictates for the more orderly society it brought. Daily life for Afghan women has changed radically.

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By Phyllis Chesler. Naive and in love, I married a man from Kabul — only to discover the horrible life of a fundamentalist Muslim wife. I did not enter the kingdom as a diplomat, soldier, teacher, journalist or foreign aid worker. It is

Army CID is warning anyone who is involved in online dating to U.S. Soldiers currently serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria or elsewhere. Men in California oversaw a romance scam that targeted women worldwide, feds say.

Matchmaking in the U. One of the latest entrants into the business is Smell Dating, a New York-based company that asks clients to wear a T-shirt for three days — without bathing! The idea is that folks sniff and, if they like the smell, pursue a date. In the corners of the world that we cover in Goats and Soda, there are all kinds of twists in the dating game although none of them involve scent.

We talked to academics to get the lowdown on courtship and marriage in three cultures. Chinese dating customs range from old school to new wave. The traditional approach leaves it up to the parents. Across China, they gather to swap stats on their unmarried kids, says Sandy To, a lecturer in the sociology department at the University of Hong Kong. The most famous spot is People’s Park in Shanghai, which hosts a marriage market every weekend. Moms and dads post signs touting their children’s personal details, including height and income, and then scan the hundreds of other signs in search of a good fit.

For the parents, it’s a practical, low-tech way to try to achieve their goal: Get their child hitched.

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I was 24 when I moved to Kabul, Afghanistan. After graduating from college in Scotland, I returned to the US but struggled to find a job in the fields I studied: Persian and Arabic. I desperately wanted to travel there, develop my language skills, and work in an area related to my degrees—so I convinced him to let me come and assist him. As I befriended our local and international clients, a new world of Afghan political and social elite opened up to me.

I was invited to embassy events, underground NGO parties, and house parties. In conflict zones, people find outlets to deal with the extreme stress regardless of the circumstances. When I met Hameed, I had been in Kabul for almost a year. I had flown to Dubai, which is three hours away, to deal with some visa issues. He mentioned setting me up with a friend named Milad, but as soon as I saw Hameed, I was drawn to him. He was 38 years old, tall and well-dressed, with mischievous eyes and a strong air of confidence.

Of course, he was with another woman—a Canadian named Tiffany. Right from the start, we had an intense physical connection. Because of the restrictions in Kabul, we had limited options for being together.

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